Before H appeared, he had been the past champion in my heart since I met him in 1997. I met him in his country when Shifu brought a group of us to BKK for orientation trip. It was an immediate attraction on my side that everyone knew me would knew about my attraction to him. However, he was already attached when I met him. He was 23 years old then and attached to a British working in BKK. Nevertheless, his relationship didn't deter my attraction to him. Every time when we visited BKK, I enjoyed his company very much. He was cute, adorable, always smiling and gentle in approach. He was well-liked by all our friends actually. He was also highly hospitality. He would spend his time to accompany us all days and nights when we were there visiting. I guess he also knew that I adored him alot. When I like a person, I think it is not possible for him not to feel my passion. My love is always direct, frank and without conceal. I am a typical scorpio, but only the first half of it. It is said that a scorpio has the character of "dare to love and dare to hate".
I had never dreamt of him reciprocating my love. I was just contended to be his admirer and have his company when I was in BKK. We met quite a few times in the following 3 years when I visited BKK. In the third year after I first met him, he finally paid his first visit to sg. All of our mutual friends were so excited about his visit as we all liked him alot. Shifu generosity hosted his sister and him at one of his apartment during his stay here. Certainly, I volunteered myself to be the obedient chauffeur throughout the stay. Shijie was the tour guide to bring him around for sightseeing. We all enjoyed very much during his visit here.
Strangely and not within my expectation at all that something was growing between us during his visit here. He was reciprocating my love to him. We secretly developed our love further. None of our friends knew about this. I flew to BKK few times to meet him, we went holiday in Pattaya together. We talked over the phone everyday when I was back in sg. It was all sweet and fulfilling, but only we both knew that there was a undercurrent to be managed. He was still attached with his bf and I was a third party. It was not easy to be the third party. When he said to me he loved me the first time, although I felt sweet and touched, I felt my heart in guilt too.
We dragged our happiness for another few months until something happened that we had to sort out our relationship. We discussed, we talked, we struggled, we tried to be logical. It was very difficult for both of us but we decided that it was still the best for him to remain with his bf. The perfect love stopped at our mutual understanding. Thereafter, we tried very hard to be rationale. I really admired his mental strength. He really could hold himself very well, much better than me. We finally pull through the period and became the best of friends. In my heart, there was always a place for him.
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