Present for Valentine??

Father walked into my room asking to speak to me, pouring all the his sorrow to me with the whole family. My family is now in a bad shape from my parents, my sisters and my brother. My father quarreled with my mum. My mum quarreled with my eldest sister. My eldest sister quarreled with my second sister. My father quarreled with my brother. My mum quarreled with my maid. My mum quarreled with my nephew ...... As usual, father still felt that he wasn't in the wrong and others were all wrong. And the most important thing in his life is still his face, his house and his business. I asked him if all these was more important than his family. He couldn't answer it, but I knew the answer was positive. I queried him if he realized my situation. He said he knew a bit, but I knew that he didn't know at all. I told him I could have died three months ago, if he viewed so importantly all his material processes, he could just go ahead and end my life since I was no important to him at all. I told him he was the one who brought me to this world, maybe he should be the one to remove me from this world too and I wouldn't bear grudge since I was in deep misery now.

I know this is not right to say to a father. I don't know how to say, I don't know how to manage, I don't what to do. I have failed so many things in my life; as a person, as a son, as a brother, as a bf, as an employee, as a student. I really don't know who I am, what I am, where I am now. I should help the family to get out of the situation but what can I do at this stage of my messy life?

Someone sent me a big present for the Valentine day. I thank you so much and I appreciate the game. Is this game going to over soon or my day is numbered?

Dearest LSH - Happy Valentine

Guess can never say this to you in person. I am sure you will have a good and enjoyable day ahead. I know you will be facing a few challenges in life this year, but I am sure you will be doing fine with your hard work. Hope happiness will always be with you.

Happy Valentine - my dearest LSH.

I miss you - LSH

I know I should not, but I can't
The more I try not to, the more I miss you

I can't meet you now, ignoring your request
But I still see your smile every second

是誰導演這場戲　在這孤單角色裡
對白總是自言自語　對手都是回憶
看不出什麼結局

自始至終全是你　讓我投入太徹底
故事如果注定悲劇　何苦給我美麗
演出相聚和別離

沒有星星的夜裡　我用淚光吸引你
既然愛你不能言語　只能微笑哭泣
讓我從此忘了你

沒有星星的夜裡　我把往事留給你
如果一切只是演戲　要你好好看戲

心碎只是我自己

5 stitches

Just came back from hospital with 5 stitches on the eyebrow.

Went dinner with the sh's gang. I got knocked by the edge of the door when I was on my way out from the toilet. I was shocked when I saw the blood flowing down from the eyebrow and a deep cut. I called kl who is the doctor in the group in to help out. They asked for medical kit and stopped the bleeding before sending me to hospital for stitches. d, kl, k, c, wl, zf were all worried and kept me company throughout the 2 hours wait in the hospital. They were kind and nice, kept telling joke to keep my spirit in place as they had also noted that I wasn't in good mood. I was so sorry to spoil their new year day like this.

The cut was deep, the doctor took five stitches to patch the wound. This was my first experience. I guess I hadn't been sleeping well, wasn't able to be mindful of what i was doing, thus the accidence occurred. Refused to think too much, again trying to block all feelings in me.

On the third day of new year, I received a good presence to work me on continuously. At least I know that there are many friends there showing concern; at least I know that I will be sleeping well tonight as I am again decided I need another round of good rest...

- hey hey are you happy now?

- yep yep I am happy now.