I woke up a day without good sleep. Mood was ok and I was able to take a bun before I went to work. After the morning meeting, I rushed out to settle utility payments. Along the way, I felt difficulty in breathing, an urge to shout and cry. I ignored the feeling and breathed heavily to release stress. I continued to run my errand till lunch. There was no appetite for food at all. I skipped lunch and headed back to office for meetings again. Meeting stretched to 4pm and mood swing visited the second time of the day. I endured till 5pm and decided to leave office earlier. I went back home straight as I was already quite exhausted from insufficient sleep and a day of work. The mood remained with me for the evening and I had no appetite to eat at all. I was very hungry, could only take water as dinner for the night. I also couldn't do much the night then I decided to end the day early to escape from suffering.
Mood swing would visit me 3-4 times a day since then. I befriended with him and observed the feelings in pain. The pattern varied from bad to worst. I woke up in the morning feeling difficulty in breathing everyday now. My chest was heavy and my heart was crunching. I needed to breathe heavily more and more to release the stress. Good night sleep was far away from me now. I could only take a short nap here and there. The stress finally resulted into panic attack yesterday.
I experienced the first attack when I was waiting for a friend in a shopping centre. I felt a tinging sensation ran all over my body. I felt myself shivering lightly. I didn't know what was it at first, but I came to term with it after few occurrences. Phobia also decided to join the fun and visited me often now.
I have to entertain all these "good friends" very often nowadays. I try to talk to them patiently and enjoy the suffering they bring onto me. I only have a wish to them. They can come and go anytime as they like in a day, but I hope they will not affect any part of my body system. I will not have energy to host them if any part of my body system is giving way.
The earth is still rotating and life is still moving on. Day in, day out, I am having great fun with all my "good friends".
Mood swing would visit me 3-4 times a day since then. I befriended with him and observed the feelings in pain. The pattern varied from bad to worst. I woke up in the morning feeling difficulty in breathing everyday now. My chest was heavy and my heart was crunching. I needed to breathe heavily more and more to release the stress. Good night sleep was far away from me now. I could only take a short nap here and there. The stress finally resulted into panic attack yesterday.
I experienced the first attack when I was waiting for a friend in a shopping centre. I felt a tinging sensation ran all over my body. I felt myself shivering lightly. I didn't know what was it at first, but I came to term with it after few occurrences. Phobia also decided to join the fun and visited me often now.
I have to entertain all these "good friends" very often nowadays. I try to talk to them patiently and enjoy the suffering they bring onto me. I only have a wish to them. They can come and go anytime as they like in a day, but I hope they will not affect any part of my body system. I will not have energy to host them if any part of my body system is giving way.
The earth is still rotating and life is still moving on. Day in, day out, I am having great fun with all my "good friends".
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