Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Confrontation (II) - The incomplete fate

Y happened to come by SH for business trip the week before last during my down period. There was always a score yet to be settled between us. I saw it the right time to make a closure during his visit. He arrived on Wednesday night and called me from hotel without early warning as usual. I was too tired to meet him that night and arranged to take him out after his meeting the next day. He supposed to call and tell me the time to meet. As his usual self, the phone didn't ring till 4pm. I decided to call him to check on his schedule. He had already finished his meeting and was ready to meet anytime. We arranged to meet at 6pm at a bookshop in Fuxin Road. He later texted to ask if his female colleague and one of his friend in SH could come along. Helplessly, I replied him that that supposed to be the meeting between two of us, but he could bring anyone he liked if he so wished. He texted to protest that I should have told him earlier.

We met at the bookshop with his female colleague. I brought them to shop along Nanjing Dong Road, then later proceed to the famous SH Bund for sightseeing. The dinner was at a Cantonese restaurant and we finished the night at around 10pm. I went to his hotel room to chat after dinner. We started casual chat at first and slowly I told him about my depression and crying that few days. He was a bit shock to hear that and I jokingly said that he was partially responsible for this. He was puzzled on why he had a role in this as we had not met for a while. I recounted the history for him.

Before our first meeting at Tower Record in Pacific Tower, I had longed to meet him as all our mutual friends had been saying he was my type. I was studying in Sydney at that time and he had already stayed in New York for a few years. We both came back to sg at the same time for holiday. One of our mutual friend organized a dinner to receive us together. While the mutual friend and I were talking at the entrance of Tower Record waiting for the others to come, I saw a boy taking the escalator coming up to our way. Before I could admire at his cuteness, the mutual friend shouted and pointed at him to me saying that he was Y. We met and immediately got attracted to each other. We started our date the next day till the day we ended our holiday in sg. The proximity of our house further accelerated the intimacy of our relationship. We talked leisurely everyday during our meeting. It was a perfect holiday romance for both of us. We went back to where belonged at that time and continued our life.

The second year came and the holiday romance repeated itself. We would somehow came back together to sg and continued our sweet dating here. We both enjoyed each other company alot in sg. This pattern ran almost every year since we first met. However, a strange phenomenon was that we hardly contacted each other when we were out of the holiday romance. Nevertheless, this had never lessen our intimacy whenever we met in sg.

I moved to Tokyo for work after I finished my studies in Sydney. During the second year of my stay in Tokyo, I decided to write him an email to discuss our future. I wrote to say that if we were to remain at the current stage, our life would be parallel and would never cross at any point. I asked him if he would want to plan with me a time in future where both of us could move back to sg and build a fruitful relationship. The email was sent but I had not received any reply from him for the next three months. I was rather disappointed and lost confident in our relationship. After much thought I wrote him a second email to talk about the same thing. The result was the same and I still didn't hear from him. I vaguely remember that there was again a third similar email sent to him on the same subject and with the same outcome. I lost hope completely and the subject was dropped totally from my mind.

After nearly 3 years of stay in Tokyo, I decided to move back to sg after half a year of serious thinking. The decision wasn't easy as I was enjoying a well paid job with good exposure and colorful lifestyle at that time. The rationale to come back was because I desired to settle down with someone here. In Tokyo, I still didn't have strong belonging there.

After I came back not long, Y scheduled his holiday visit to sg. This time he was a bit strange. I sensed that he was also thinking seriously of moving back to sg for some reasons. And, it was rather obvious that he desired me to ask him to move back to sg. He told me casually about his thinking to move back. He insisted that I went to source for an apartment with him at the time. He hinted that I had to like it as we might stay there together. I refused to view the apartment with him indicating to him clearly that he had to make his choice of moving back to sg himself. I actually also intentionally explained to him my long struggled in deciding to come back. I hinted to him that I couldn't be the reason for him to return. In retrospect, there were three reasons to my action. Firstly, he told me that he had just been promoted to the post of regional director in his company. He was working at a top 4 advertising firm in New York. I felt burden to ask him to forgo this good opportunity cost to come back for me. Secondly, I had just struggled to reach the decision, I knew clearly that this had to be made by himself. Lastly and most importantly, I think the three unanswered emails were at work then. There was an overwhelming question mark in my mind on the unanswered emails.

He left sg without any decision being made. On the day right after his departure for New York, I received a call from YP shouting and accusing me why I let Y left sg with sadness. He was angry that I didn't ask him to come back to sg. I didn't explain my position as there was history that only Y and I could understand. Y didn't decide to move back to sg and I didn't ask him further anymore. I got attached with my ex first and subsequently Y got attached with an American in NY a year later. We still meet in sg very closely when Y come back each year for home visit.

I recounted the history and confronted Y directly about the three unanswered emails that night in his hotel. I jokingly told him that if he would have answered the email, we might be happily living in sg together now. More importantly, my ex would not be in the picture and I would not be in depression now. He was quite sad after hearing the story and he claimed that he didn't receive the three emails at all. He asked why I didn't check with him directly the following year we met in sg. I told him that I couldn't as I had lost confidence and hope after I had mustered all courage on the three attempts and failed completely. He was silent and slept on my shoulder. Some 10 minutes passed, he suddenly murmured to me in dreaming voice saying "please don't cry, don't cry anymore." I was very touched at that moment on his concern to me. I asked him directly if he really liked me at the time. He gave an shy but affirmative answer.

He left the next day after his meeting for HK. I received a call from him asking for my address in SH. He said that he had bought me a jacket and wanted to DHL to me. I was a bit surprised and told him that it was not necessary. He insisted as he had already bought the jacket. I thanked him and gave him my address in SH. DHL called fast the second day to inform me on the procedure to claim the jacket. China custom required me to pay 20% custom tax before the jacket could be released to me. I was shocked when I knew the price of the jacket. It was too expensive a gift from Y. I am not too sure if this was the gift to show his apology for the unanswered emails.

I am very happy that I have made a closure on a mystery long in my heart between Y and me. I think Y and I are a very close kin to each other now after ten years of relation. We were fated to fall in love with each other and enjoyed our moment together very much, however, we had incomplete fate that forbid us to go further.

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