When I was on my way to psychotheraphy session, I received a simple SMS asking how I was from my Shijie. My tears rushed into my eye uncontrollably. Consciously knowing that I have declared not to cry, I forced back my tears with all my might. Shijie and I haven't been talking since 2004.
Before I knew my Shifu, Shijie was already a long term close mate with him. So naturally, I had to call him Shijie, even though I was two years older than him. We got along very well since the first day of meeting. Shijie always got good, sharp and sarcastic humorous sense. Time with Shijie had never been boring. We went through thick and thin together since the day I came out of closet. I can't account for my initial few years of gay life without the presence of Shijie. There was too much happiness muddled with unhappiness at the same time.
The connection was broken after an incidence. The incident occurred that shook the fundamental trust between us. I was so hurt and disappointed that I cut off the connection immediately and impulsively. I didn't answer Shijie's phone for a while and he turned angry and didn't pursue further. Thereafter, we were strangers to each other.
There were many a times I thought I should patch back with Shijie. Our friendship had been frank and direct. I always thought it was a great loss to me that we should ended up this way. However, I haven't got enough energy to initiate the patch back.
Shifu was kind enough to tell Shijie about my current situation, probably hoping he could render some support to me. I am really grateful to all the kind gestures from both of them.
Before I knew my Shifu, Shijie was already a long term close mate with him. So naturally, I had to call him Shijie, even though I was two years older than him. We got along very well since the first day of meeting. Shijie always got good, sharp and sarcastic humorous sense. Time with Shijie had never been boring. We went through thick and thin together since the day I came out of closet. I can't account for my initial few years of gay life without the presence of Shijie. There was too much happiness muddled with unhappiness at the same time.
The connection was broken after an incidence. The incident occurred that shook the fundamental trust between us. I was so hurt and disappointed that I cut off the connection immediately and impulsively. I didn't answer Shijie's phone for a while and he turned angry and didn't pursue further. Thereafter, we were strangers to each other.
There were many a times I thought I should patch back with Shijie. Our friendship had been frank and direct. I always thought it was a great loss to me that we should ended up this way. However, I haven't got enough energy to initiate the patch back.
Shifu was kind enough to tell Shijie about my current situation, probably hoping he could render some support to me. I am really grateful to all the kind gestures from both of them.
2 comments:
Hey. =) Honestly, I wouldn't know a thing about this. But at least you had closure over your relationship with Shijie.
Good luck with that and your psychotherapy!
thanks teo, really appreciate your drop by and concern. Will work my best to get myself out of this situation.
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