"hmm.. What is your view on ONS?".
I was frequently being asked the question by new acquaintance when I was just out of closet in 1996. At the time, ONS was still very much a taboo. If you dared utter that you could accept ONS, you would be instantly labelled as a slut in no time by the community. Over the last ten years, sg gay culture went through quite a major change, from conservative attitude in sex to readily acceptance of open relationship. I am not too sure if this is the consequence of the active suana scene here since the last five years. So naturally, the response to the question has pretty much changed nowadays.
"hmm.. I don't think I can ever accept ONS in my life."
This standard model answer ten years ago will definitely fetch a negative response now. One will be immediately perceived as hypocrite, pretentious and not realistic. " To be open in sex is only the choice of individual" is very much a common belief now. There should not be an issue as long as an individual is happy with it in his life. I saw the culture developed recently further into much open attitude in sex in many ways. Going on futher, I also noted that entertainment drugs have also somehow parallely infiltrated into the culture together with the development. This situation doesn't seem to be exclusive in sg, but also prevail in Taiwan, China, etc. I am not too sure if the situation is unamanageable now in sg, but I do know that my drug situation recently goes unmanageable. Though I am refering to different category of drugs.
I have been suffering from neck and shoulder injury due to excessive tennis game since Jan this year. The collapse of the injury did not come accidentally. It was the result of constant cycle of injured, recoverd, tennis, injured, recover, tennis.... Tennis is indeed an additive game. And, tennis player is prompt to injury without sufficient warm up before the game. I think this is because the game requires high power to manage the racket and ball. I have got myself to blame as I was not a firm believer of warm up exercise prior to a game. I realised it too late and I am paying for it with high cost as the last relapse of injury not only deprives me the joy of playing tennis till now, but also upset my body system with persistent pain.
I have been constantly searching for medical helps from GP to orthopaedic, physiotherapy, tui-na, acupuncture from sg sports medicine to Mt E specialist, Gleneagles specialist. I have also undergone many x-rays, MRI, etc. The worst of the lot is the incessant input of drug into my body system.
Unbearable pain occured again 2 months ago and I was determined to get this out of my system this time. My GP made a strong recommendation on this specialist at Gleneagles. This was the third specialist whom I have consulted. I went to consult him hopefully and was put on a new drug called Lyrica for almost a month after he took a casual glance at me. The drug caused me dizziness for the whole duration. I even slept half way through the meeting at work. The condition didn't improve much and I was prescribed with Arcoxia 120mg (day) and Nuerontin 300mg (night) for another 3 weeks.
My body is long due for change lately I think. Not only suffering from problem of physical pain, but I also have problem with my stomach for colities and chronic gastritis. So naturally, I am under drug to manage the situation currently with Controloc 40mg in the morning and Salofalk 500mg twic a day. I have become a man on drugs unknowingly.
I had been taking 4 rather strong drugs for about 3 weeks and my body finally went haywired. I got an urgy 2cm dia blister developed on top of mouth hole while I was taking my dinner with J one night. The pain was so sharp that I had to broke the blister. My condition went unmanageable since then. I developed bad inflammation in my mouth that caused even swallowing water a tough challenge for me. My GP instructed me to stop Arcoxia immediately after much negotiation with the specialist. And not much better after that either as I have been immediately put on a strong antibiotic Amocla 625mg twice a day since then.
The past 7 days or so, my life was drugs, fluid food with hunger, sleeping in the meeting, constant fight with great pain that I have not encoutered in my life before. Much to my surprise, I still have energy to deal with my very type H and indulging in failed relationship. What a colorful life I have!
I am in a much depressed mode now I think, trying to stay afloat with both mental and physical pains. However, I have a strong belief that one will grow faster in a difficult situation. I am trying to separate my rationale self from the suffering entity in hope that I can still hold a firm grip on the total me.
Not too sure how this will progress next, but I have to still declare that the situation is in red and unmanageable.
I look at my life progression interestingly.....
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