He was a Thai and he was my regret forever. Somkit was his name. I met him in Sydney when I was studying. He was learning English there and partiming at a restaurant to support himself. He was my type, a boy-next-door with everything I so desired physically. I felt in love with him at first sight and actively went after him.
I waited for him after his work and sent him back home from Bondi to Manly, an hour drive away from where I stayed. He was interested but he was reserved at first. He told me that he was just out of a relationship and couldn’t trust it any more. I persisted and showed him I cared in everyway. He stayed over with me sometimes and I helped him in his studies. We developed and heart grew closer with every second ticked by. He reciprocated and personally made me a burger whenever I picked him up from his work. The taste of the burger was the best in the world and remained in my heart since then forever.
We were strolling along the beach of Manly one day when I sent him home about 5pm in the evening. There was no one in the beach except the two of us, as if this famous world surfing beach was created for us to make our vow for love. We sat on an old log watching and listening to the wave-symphony orchestrated by nature. I hold him tight and kissed him so fondly. He finally said this to me : “I was hurt and I was lost. And I can’t afford to make a second mistake now. But to you, I’m willing to try, please take me in your hand and hold me tight.” So touched at the time, I fumbled the few words :”I thank you for your reciprocation and will treasure you now and forever.”
The next two months we were in heaven and paradise. Life went on well with studies, work and fun. However, the day not supposed to come yet had to come. He was studying in my house and we had an argument. I must be too guilty till I forcefully forgot all the details by now. I sent him back home the next day and didn’t want to call him again. He called and I answered dully to his question, without knowing that was the last time I ever heard his voice again. I was busy with my studies subsequently and I didn’t want to think about it too much. And, I had to suppress my urge to approach his best friend to ask his where-about whenever I occasionally passed by his best friend's shop.
Time flies, regret finally got to me a day. I realized hard that I had betrayed my vow to him. I must have hurt him so much at the time. And I had actually hurt someone I said I love in an irresponsible and childish way. I wanted to say sorry so much but the message could never be delivered. I lost him totally and had no mean to contact. Again, there was no meaning to apologize since the damage had already been done. I hate the idea of slapping people on the face and say sorry after that.
I waited for him after his work and sent him back home from Bondi to Manly, an hour drive away from where I stayed. He was interested but he was reserved at first. He told me that he was just out of a relationship and couldn’t trust it any more. I persisted and showed him I cared in everyway. He stayed over with me sometimes and I helped him in his studies. We developed and heart grew closer with every second ticked by. He reciprocated and personally made me a burger whenever I picked him up from his work. The taste of the burger was the best in the world and remained in my heart since then forever.
We were strolling along the beach of Manly one day when I sent him home about 5pm in the evening. There was no one in the beach except the two of us, as if this famous world surfing beach was created for us to make our vow for love. We sat on an old log watching and listening to the wave-symphony orchestrated by nature. I hold him tight and kissed him so fondly. He finally said this to me : “I was hurt and I was lost. And I can’t afford to make a second mistake now. But to you, I’m willing to try, please take me in your hand and hold me tight.” So touched at the time, I fumbled the few words :”I thank you for your reciprocation and will treasure you now and forever.”
The next two months we were in heaven and paradise. Life went on well with studies, work and fun. However, the day not supposed to come yet had to come. He was studying in my house and we had an argument. I must be too guilty till I forcefully forgot all the details by now. I sent him back home the next day and didn’t want to call him again. He called and I answered dully to his question, without knowing that was the last time I ever heard his voice again. I was busy with my studies subsequently and I didn’t want to think about it too much. And, I had to suppress my urge to approach his best friend to ask his where-about whenever I occasionally passed by his best friend's shop.
Time flies, regret finally got to me a day. I realized hard that I had betrayed my vow to him. I must have hurt him so much at the time. And I had actually hurt someone I said I love in an irresponsible and childish way. I wanted to say sorry so much but the message could never be delivered. I lost him totally and had no mean to contact. Again, there was no meaning to apologize since the damage had already been done. I hate the idea of slapping people on the face and say sorry after that.
To my regret:
You will always be in my heart and thank you for the time with me;
I will never forget the taste of the burger you made it especially for me,
The vow I made in Manly I vividly remember;
I betrayed childishly and I realized it too late;
I hope I can say the same to you again one day;
If not in this life, then I will wait for next;
And I will hold on to it this time even if the retribution is on me.
Wrote on Mar 05
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