Saturday, December 8, 2007

My first Valentine - A lost date

I am not too sure if twenty years of age gap is a problem to a relationship, but I did encounter a failed attempt when twenty years of difference was coupled by tremendous differences in background.

De was a lovely boy 20 years my junior. I didn't think he could be so young when I first met him although he looked actually that young. A bit of contradiction here, but this is how I felt then. He was the first date after I returned to sg from a 3 years stay in jp in 2003. I decided to quit my job in jp because I desired to get settled down in sg. It was a Valentine day 2 weeks after we dated. I was so excited as De would be the first Valentine in my life. Coincidentally, my shifu had just renovated an apartment close to Newton circle and he decided generously to lent it to me for a night to celebrate my first Valentine. We had a romantic night together with a valentine cake of a mushroom shape.

Thereafter, we dated for another two months and he was ready to get attached to me. De was a real good boy with simple and pleasant disposition. We got along well but somehow there was still a difficulty in communication due to differences in background. My feeling was good with him but I felt it would still be quite a bit away from being a couple. I explained to him my feeling and suggested we should stay as friends. He was nice and didn't pursue further. We were friends since then and got together for chat and karaoka occasionally.

My ex was rather insecure with my friendship with De soon after we got attached. I introduced them one day at De's work place when we were shopping at Paragon. They didn't seem to see eye to eye on each other. A mere polite nod was the only interaction they exchanged. I had also made quite an effort to convince my ex of my pure friendship with De.

I met up with De one day to watch Spiderman III after I broke off with my ex. We were sitting at a cafe chatting before the show commenced. De looked extremely bright and active on that day. He suddenly posed a question to me asking why I wanted to get attached with my ex. While I was fumbling with word to answer, he continued commenting jubilantly that my ex had a funny face with thick eyebrow. I looked at him amusingly and told him that my ex would be very upset if he were to hear that. My ex had always been very confident of his look and had always attracted attentions.

De sms me one day to inquire if he could be my bf when I was in SH. I was touched that he was still thinking of me after a good 4 year . I replied him that we would talk after I returned to sg. I had a real thought about the issue, but the rationale not to get attached with De was still very much valid in me. We talked when I got back from SH and I again suggested we better remained as friends. He was quite disappointed this time but again he didn't pursue further.

We hardly met thereafter as I needed to travel quite often now. I received his SMS again one day when I was in SH asking me if I was in sg. I told him that I would be returning 2 weeks later and he didn't reply. I tried to contact him after when I was back in town but somehow his hp was always in off mode. I tried looking for him at his work place also but couldn't get him in sight. I am real worry about how he is doing now, but I think I may just lose him completely.


No comments: