Depression with discipline in place

I had been experienced depression without energy. Everything was beyond control, the fear, the panic attack, difficult with breathing, sleepless night, etc. When I got slight energy, I took the opportunity to discipline myself. I wake up morning to meditate, I exercise everyday to release stress, I chant ambitabha when I am free, I read and I write, I work on positive psychology. I experience discipline built up each day. I thought when I am disciplined, I can be liberated. But, it doesn't look like it now. I am still feeling the discipline in me, managing myself not to think too much of H, cut away soul tie with my ex, doing the stuffs above to keep me from wondering. However, I still feel deep fear in me, panic attack and sleepless night getting worst...

I don't want to get negative here. I am strong, I have energy, I take thing one step at a time. I will be liberated.