A lonely boy

I still remember a boy was running about in my mind when I was depressed earlier on. I saw a boy crossing the road on his own; I saw a boy reading in a corner; I saw a boy taking lunch alone, etc. The scenes were so close to the movie "Hanging Garden". The main lead saw his young self running around in the house when he returned home for his sister's wedding after many years of absence. At that time, I could even feel the extreme loneliness in the boy. Yes, this was me in my primary school. I guess I was reflecting my then emotion to the childhood me who kept flashing in my mind. I know long ago that I have been lonely. Mew knows exactly when he started his loneliness, but I can't account for the cause. The loneliness was even more severe when I was down. Therefore, I understand totally when Mew said it is unbearable.

I like to read and I keep learning new stuffs. I guess subconsciously I am just trying to keep myself busy to forget the extreme loneliness all along.

Now that I am much better, I reflect my current state of mind to the primary school boy. I saw a boy doing things on his own with the acceptance of life as it is.