I am a hopeless devoter of relationship. I don't think my life can be complete without a relationship. More importantly, I found relationship a major stabilizing factor to balance my life. To me, the following is basically the formula of my life now:
Happiness = f(Relationship)
I wasn't like that long time ago, not when I was still hiding in closet, not when I just stepped out of closet. Gay relationship was an unknown to me. I didn't know what to expect at the time for gay relationship. My definition of gay life was limited to guy likes guy, gay friend, gay sex. I didn't know two persons of the same sex could live happily together as a couple. I didn't know two persons of the same sex could pursue life together happily.
I still remember I was approached quite a few times to get attached when I just came out of closet. Not that I was the dead gorgeous type, but I thought it was because I was new to the scene. I rejected all the offers for the mere reason that I had no idea at all what gay relationship was. I was happy enough then to know many new gay friends, to be able to talk freely with them what supposedly was viewed as taboo to others. My initial gay life was joyful without any knowledge of gay relationship.
My first date planted the idea of gay relationship to me. It was analogous to adam and eve ate the forbidden fruit. A sin was created and unhappiness was snapped into my life since then. I bear the torment of the 'original sin' since then. I don't know whether I should regret taking the option, but I know my life has been defined in the above formula now.
I have accepted this as a fact in my life and build the concept of my ideal life based on this primary principle.
- To have a happy and committed relationship with someone I love
- To build a home for ourselves
- To look after both our kins
- To work on own business
- To adopt and provide for a child
- To contribute back to society
- To live happily ever and forever with my love one
Am I asking too much?
Happiness = f(Relationship)
I wasn't like that long time ago, not when I was still hiding in closet, not when I just stepped out of closet. Gay relationship was an unknown to me. I didn't know what to expect at the time for gay relationship. My definition of gay life was limited to guy likes guy, gay friend, gay sex. I didn't know two persons of the same sex could live happily together as a couple. I didn't know two persons of the same sex could pursue life together happily.
I still remember I was approached quite a few times to get attached when I just came out of closet. Not that I was the dead gorgeous type, but I thought it was because I was new to the scene. I rejected all the offers for the mere reason that I had no idea at all what gay relationship was. I was happy enough then to know many new gay friends, to be able to talk freely with them what supposedly was viewed as taboo to others. My initial gay life was joyful without any knowledge of gay relationship.
My first date planted the idea of gay relationship to me. It was analogous to adam and eve ate the forbidden fruit. A sin was created and unhappiness was snapped into my life since then. I bear the torment of the 'original sin' since then. I don't know whether I should regret taking the option, but I know my life has been defined in the above formula now.
I have accepted this as a fact in my life and build the concept of my ideal life based on this primary principle.
- To have a happy and committed relationship with someone I love
- To build a home for ourselves
- To look after both our kins
- To work on own business
- To adopt and provide for a child
- To contribute back to society
- To live happily ever and forever with my love one
Am I asking too much?
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